16 2 / 2014
yesterday was the first time i ever visited a friend’s funeral. i mean, ive been to tons of funerals - my great grandmother’s, my dad’s friends and such. However, there has never been a deep enough connection for me to understand the pain of losing a loved one.
When i saw how he cried his heart out yesterday the moment he saw us, the deep sinking feeling in my heart is indescribable. and i couldnt help but to cry with him. it was the first time ive seen his cry, and sucha hard cry at that..
ive seen his brother a few times around, we know he was a very iconic sprinter representing Singapore. We were not even acquaintances, i think.. but what pained my heart yesterday was how he described his brother, the fatherly figure, the one he has always looked up to. When was the exact last time he saw him before the accident, what they did and when was the last time they held a proper conversation,… he said he cant remember.. all he said was it was so unfair, because his brother had everything planned out for himself and he was so bent on breaking the SEA Games record holder in the next SEA Games.
Dear friend, we love you and we will always be that brother you lost. He was a great loss to your family and to our country. Make him proud, and keep him in the deepest chamber in your heart.
09 2 / 2014
Its been so long since ive penned my thoughts here. It is also time i change my display picture of 2 years ago, haha. But i’ll leave all that to the holidays (now im wondering what many things i have to accomplished during the holidays since i’ve said this phrase for way too many times on way too many things hehe).
So many things have happened. Im currently in the midst of studying for my final exam for the Second Year. in 20 days’ time, ALL THIS *************#@!^%$^$&^$& is gonna be over. i do not know how to describe this purgatory they’d like to call school, hence im using these weird symbols, that do not represent vulgarities :-)
Im so used to school, im no longer bothered about the loneliness i feel. In fact, i am very very happy that i am alone most of the time. For some reason. im just bothered about the amount of workload i have. Thankfully i have you to help me relieve some of it some days ;-)
However, this time round, in this final exam, its been extremely difficult to tide thru. Im juggling 5 papers at a go, i have no idea how i even agreed to doing it. I keep telling myself that, after these 20 days are over, i can and MUST have a good sleep, and do whatever ive been wanting to do. i feel very sorry to my dear friend who has been asking me out but to no avail most of the time because i need to study. This is seriously a need. i just wanna let you know (if you’re reading this) that im truly sorry and i’ll make it up to you when these 20 days are over.
Also, i keep telling myself that all this temporary suffering is for a better cause. im gonna reverse the wrong decision i made, and im gonna graduate the same time as all my other peers are. im gonna HAVE TO DO THIS. And as im typing this, im very pumped up to continue studying now hahaha!
Enough of all the words of realization. Heres what i plan to do for my 7 weeks holiday!!!!!!! YIPPEE HOORAY
- INSANITY WORKOUT EVERYDAY (even the thought of it sounds insane…. but i really wanna try this insane thing!)
- Driving lessons everyday
- watch xiaxue Guide To Life ( recently ive been following her on insta, and on her vblogs. i find them quite interesting.. even though i have no intention of imitating her in whatever she does.. but just… u know, interested haha )
- watch yeswecan!!
- do some real good shopping for some real modest dresses. er yes, i really meant that
- make at least a trip to SPCA or cat welfare! yahoo!
(and i remember listing a lot more things to do while i was bathing just now… but right now, my mind is a blank) ill just add on when i can recall!
Thats all for now. BACK TO STUDYING!